Story

March 14th.

According to the weather report, this afternoon I shall weep. The probability is about ninety six percent.

As the weather forecast becomes more and more accurate, the number ninety-six has an air of finality.

At breakfast, I contemplated the reason for my weeping. After all, it doesn't happen very often. I haven't wept for ten years.

Flipping through the newspaper, an article in the finance section announces I am one of those to be laid off by my company. Perhaps this is the reason why I'll be weeping.

After reading the newspaper, I felt much better, since it isn't every day that I learn something from the news. Furthermore, I don't have to work today. Whistling, I changed into casual clothes, and decided to take a stroll through the suburbs.

After I got on the Metro, I happened to sit by three middle-age women. Judging from what they were saying, I was sad because my girlfriend had left me. They seem to be very familiar with this matter. They went into details from a female point of view. Many of their opinions were very new to me. I can't help but listen to everything they say. I have to say, women have a deeper understanding of feelings. After listening to their remarks, I began to better understand my girlfriend's thinking and the significance of what had happened between us. However, after following their conversation for a while, I felt like a second-class actor, who recites his lines, but only the audience really understands what the play is about. Is this the feeling of isolation? Quietly, I thought to myself, should I weep at this moment, and therefore follow the weather report script - "Cloudy with a chance of afternoon showers"? I looked out the window, but there were no tears.

I got out of the train before reaching my destination. I was no longer in the mood to travel. At the end of the street there was an election candidate giving a campaign speech. Judging from the size of the crowd, he seemed to be fairly popular. From time to time, the wind carried his words to me. I wandered down the street while my subconscious decoded his speech. Amidst the clamor, my name was mentioned repeatedly. Then I suddenly realized that his speech was about an ordinary citizen, like me, who had suffered under the authoritarian government. He spoke in detail of how my rights had been invaded and government deception. Listening to his speech, I was alarmed to discover how long I had been deceived. At the end of the speech, he shouted: "This is the saddest thing of all for our people!" The crowd responded madly. I told myself: "This is the saddest thing for me!" I waited for the moment when I would become heartbroken and begin to weep. He would step down from the platform, and grasp my hands in front of the camera lights, creating a symbol of victory for the people. I waited silently for this moment to arrive, however, no tears came.

After the crowd scattered, the ground was covered with the candidate's handouts. Every handout photo seemed to stare at me angrily because I had disappointed him. I slunk around the corner to avoid his angry stare. After a while, a street sweeper appeared out of the darkness. He stabbed through those angry stares and gathered them in the wicker sack on his shoulder. 

It started to rain while I was waiting for the last train home. This shower gradually washed away all of today's memories, covering all the humdrum world. It seemed that only the rain and I were all that remained in this world. I let the rain cleanse my body, and all the negative feelings in my heart seemed to have been washed away in this gentle bath. Then, all of a sudden, the rain stopped. A pale moon emerged from behind the dark clouds. Reflected in the rainwater, everything shimmered with a film of pale moonlight, forming a nimbus around the moon. Then the voices of the night creatures replaced silence. At this moment, any emotion capable of being expressed by languages has been obliterated from my mind.

To this moment, I'm not sure if I wept or not. At the time my rain-soaked face could not provide any explicit evidence.